i think i'v...

i think i've totally given up on how i appear to others, or maybe even caring for my physical self all together. i don't really see the point of it. i don't want to be desireable to anyone who wouldn't like me just for who i am, anyway. i mean, not that i am the slightest bit desireable to other people, but i don't see any point in trying to be for anyone that wouldn't love me for who i am despite my appearance however awful it may be. and that's lilke, first impressions. why give a good first impression, when if you are in a long lasting relationship with the person they will find out exactly who you are anyway? if someone doesn't like exactly who i am, i would feel more secure knowing it from the start. okay...i'm just rambling now. so i'll shut up.